As I start to push 30 years of age, I wonder where my life has gone. I wonder if I could have done things differently. If I would have done things differently. I have to admit 30 has always been my scary age. I said to my BFF the other day 'OMG, we are nearly 30! I think it's time we grew up!' I wonder if I wasn't carrying all this weight..... And then I start to think I wish I'd never thought about it.
I have no doubt my life would be different if I was never overweight. I often wonder what if would have been like to be popular at school. Or be Belle of the Ball. To have a highschool boyfriend. To maybe further my education. Or even care about it for that matter. Where would I be today if I pursed my love of music or reading. Would I be successful? Would I be happy? Happier? And then I think, would I have met my now husband? Would I have my gorgeous girls? And all of a sudden, it doesn't really bother me. Because if being fat is what lead me to him and them. Then that is ok with me.
So, I will be 30 in 2013 and Im determined to make the next 30+ years of my life worth every second. I will not be looking back when I am 60+ and asking 'What if?'. I will be looking back and saying 'What a fucking ride that was!' While it makes me sad to think that almost 30 years of my life has been half lived, I am so thankful that I've found the direction I need. I have all the tools in front of me to succeed. I have the support of those who know and love me best. And I have my inner most self to nuture for the first time in my life. And I won't let her down again.
xx
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