I have been overweight my whole life. I once found my child health book where the nurse had noted her concern over my weight. I often wonder why my Mother didn't do anything about it way back then. I probably would have been around 3 or 4 at the time. I come from a good family, I guess you could say. I am the youngest of three girls. My parents always worked hard. They seperated when I was around 9 or 10. Only my middle sister lived at home at the time. She moved out not long after. Then it was just me and Mum. I think this is when my relationship with food really began. My Mum worked long hours. Often she was gone before I would wake up so it was upto me to get myself ready for school. When I was older, she worked nights so getting dinner was my responsibility. I remember filling in the time with food.
I don't ever remember takeaway being apart of my younger life. Well not to the extent that it would be an issue. We occasionally had pizza delivered or walked to the local fish and chip shop or chinese restaurant. But it was never a regular thing. I think the constant eating and not moving was more of an issue for me. I was over 100kg by the time I left primary school (or at least Im pretty sure I was). I hated high school and rarely went. Most of the time I stayed in bed and watched trashy daytime TV. As a result I didn't graduate Year 12. At the time it didn't bother me. And I guess it really doesn't now. But that lack of drive has stayed with me. I have never really been motivated to do much.
When I was 18 I met and started dating Chris. Things were going great and I moved in with him. No guy had ever showed me attention like he did. No one was ever interested in the fat chick. But I soon learned it would probably the biggest mistake of my life. For our first Christmas together, he got me a gym membership and forced me to go. Literally. I remember him dragging me up the front steps because I was too scared to go. He started getting really into fitness and weights training. Not long after he started taking steroids and his whole personality changed. I hated who he had become but I loved the freedom of not living at home, so I stayed. We were together for around a year. In that time I was subjected to physical, mental and emotional abuse. He used to say things like 'My ideal woman is a size 14-16' (I was a size 20-22) and 'I don't want to hold your hand in public because it's embarrassing'. When we split I went on a downward spiral. I started drinking and eating like never before. I used to drive to McDonalds and get a large Double Quarter Pounder meal then go next door to Red Rooster and get 6 nuggets and sauce. Most of the time I would stuff myself full with that and then throw it back up again. But like I said before, I've never really had the motivation to do anything. Not even to be Bulimic. I had a few relationships post Chris. Nothing that really lasted. I was still hung up on him even though he was dating and living with someone else. Til this day he still affects my life. I can't get the nasty things he said to me out of my head. I don't remember any part of that relationship that was good.
When I was 21 I met Glenn. He was married at the time and 20 years older than me. But something drew me to him. And I couldn't get him off my mind. He ended up leaving his wife for me and moved in the same day. A few months later we were engaged and in 2006 (when I was 23) we married. My wedding outfit was a size 24. And it *just* fit. In the 2 and abit years since Glenn and I had been together, I'd stacked on the weight. I guess that's what being happy does?
In Janurary 2008 we welcomed our first baby. I was weighed during that pregnancy for the first time since I was with Chris. I hit 170kg late in that pregnancy but still I didn't care. I wasn't much lighter when I fell pregnant with our second baby. I was around 170kg when I gave birth to her also. After she was born I lost 12kg within the first few weeks. I wanted to keep that momentum going but was unsuccessful. It wasn't until she was over 1 year old that I started to get serious about losing weight.
A lady (Meegan) I'd met on a parenting forum posted something on Facebook about a doctor asking her for help with a patient who had a BMI of over 60. And I thought to myself, I wonder what my BMI is? So I googled and found a BMI calculator, put in my details and was shocked at the answer. My BMI was 62! I knew Meegan had lost a fair bit of weight lately and was a nurse so I PM'd her. All it said was 'My BMI is 62 :( ' She messaged me back straight away and told me about the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. She told me to do it. She told me I had to do it. Or I was going to die. And I knew she was right.
On the 26th April 2011 (4 days after my 2nd born's 1st birthday) I signed up for Round 3 of the 12WBT. I had a starting weight of 165.3kg. During the round I lost 10.4kg and found out I was pregnant with baby #3. Glenn and I had such troubles conceiving #1 and #2, we never imagined we'd have a surprise baby. But I guess the world works in mysterious ways. Today, I am 28 weeks + 4 days and I've gained back 7 of the 10kg I lost on the program. Although Im feeling terrible for it, I know that once this baby is born I will be back and on a mission. I am hoping to sign up for Round 2, 2012 and I am going to smash it.
My goal is to be under 100kg by the time I turn 30 (August 2013) I would love to be at goal weight (which is probably around 75-80kg) by then, but that may be pushing it abit lol. I know that I am never going to be ultra skinny. And I don't want to be. I want to be healthy. And happy. And a good role model for my kids. I want to find that motivation, I want to be a part of the action, instead of sitting on the sidelines. I know I can do it. I have the support of my awesome husband, Glenn, the amazing ladies (and gents!) of the 12WBT Perth Crew and Michelle Bridges! What more could I possibly need?
